Things to do for a Laser
by Paul Hargan
It must have been the caffeine in the coffee and the three pieces of Cadburyís fruit and nut I had before going to bed, but I woke at 2.15 in the morning with my brain racing. How to attend all the regattas in the calendar this year without spending money on accommodation like Motels, Caravan Parks, shared houses, sleeping in my cramped little car, and the like........Of course! Sleep a-board the Laser! Could it be possible? Would it work?
The deck is a fairly level surface except for the monstrous whole in the middle. Fill in the whole! With a sheet of 14 millimetre plywood cut to fit on the grab rails along itís sides and resting on the centre board casing. It canít go anywhere except by levitation!? A four inch foam mattress laid out would make it very comfy.
What if it rains though? Some kind of a tarpaulin over me. No, better still, rig the mast and drop it in the mast step, and use the main sheet around the top section collar with a half hitch to support the boom and keep it central. Then drape the tarpaulin over the boom and shock cord it to the beach trolley and the Laserís gunwhales. A few different sized pieces of timber or the tool box to adjust the height of the bow on itís trolley rest, a couple of rocks behind the wheels to stop any movement, and Bobís your uncle and Fannyís your aunt!
Iíve already trialed it at the ĎBig River Regattaí at Harwood Island and two very comfortable nights sleep was the result. One or two modifications are needed like, raising the boom well above horizontal to alleviate the dented scull when rolling over during the night. Also a larger tarpaulin with tent pegs driven into the ground so a mosquito net can be raised under it. It might get a little more complicated than that if you attend the regattas with your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, children, or mother-in-law!
Oh, and there is always some bright spark who thinks it might be good fun to launch you in the middle of the night. Let me inform you, bright spark, of the speed and agility of an old soldier like me. I can be awake and out of there in two shakes, so your satisfaction will be short lived. The last unidentified thrill seeker moved me just two metres of the twenty needed to the water, before being scared off by my foul language!
Problem solved! Whatís the time? 2.45am. Now, back to the
buxom brunette by the pool in my dreams!?